mika_nobuta's world

The days went by.
When ever I saw you, I could saw the sad shine in your eyes and I knew I'm the reason.
I knew I did all things wrong.
Deep in my heart I died some days ago.

I knew I must found a way to said 'sorry' toward you.
But I didn't knew how should I do this.
Nothing seemed enough for you.
And so I sat here and listened to music and thought about, to found the right way.
And than there was a song and I finally knew what I had to do.
I stood up an took a look to you, before I took my cell phone and called my Senpai from "One Pound Gospel".

"Kamenashi-senpai? I need your help! I have do a important thing and I really need your help!" I said.
Afer I heard his answer I smiled.
I started to thought that it would come to a good end.

After our last show-act, I ran to the place where I had an appointment with Kamenashi.

I told him what my plan was to made Chinen forgave me and why I had to do this.
He listened carefully to me.
His glance said nothing about his thinking.
At the end of my telling I looked to him and waited for his answer.
My heart went so fast and than it suddenly stopped.
The words: "I will help you" make me happier than I could say.


Since the meeting with Kamenashi some days passed by.

With the his help... I'm finally reached the point, where I was able to said 'sorry' to my love.
But for this I needed the help from Yuya too, because I wanted to made sure, that everything will turned out in a good way.
So I waited for him, that we can talked about my undertaking.
When he came out of the room and saw me sitting there, he walked to me and asked: "Do you want say sorry to him, ne?? And you need my help, right?"
I looked with big eyes to him and asked me secretly, why he knew this.
Before I got my answer, I saw his smile an heard his words.
"Ne Yama-chan you are my ototo-chan and I know you! So, what I should I do to help you out?"

"Arigato Nii-chan. You are right, I really need your help. You have to do somehing for me."
And than I told him my plan.

After we had cleared 'that', I start so smile und hug him.

He told me that he would do help me out and I couldn't wait for the next day.

+++

Today is the day.
And my heart goes so fast.

But I don't want to make a step back.
I sit on a chair in the dark and wait for him.
I bite my lower lip at the moment when the door opens and a little shine fall inside the room.
I see his silhouette and my heart goes faster.
At this point there is no return

Afer he walk some steps inside the dark room and the door closed behind him,
there starts a gitarr to play.
The soft melody is finely floods the room, while it takes the way to you.
Some seconds later I start to sing and the spotlight shines on me.

"Oh I
had a lot to say
was thinking
on my time away
I missed you
and things weren't the same
Cause everything inside
it never comes out right
And when I see you cry
it makes me want to die
I'm sorry I'm bad,
I'm sorry I'm blue,
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know
I can't take it back
I love all your cares,
I love all you're sounds,
and baby the way you make
my world go round
And I just wanted to say:
I'm sorry.
This time
I think I'm to blame
it's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame
Cause everything inside
it never comes out right
And when I see you cry
it makes me want to die
I'm sorry I'm bad,
I'm sorry I'm blue,
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know
I can't take it back
I love how you kiss,
I love all your sounds,
and baby the way you make
my world go round
And I just wanted to say (yeah yeah):
I'm sorry.
Every single day
I think about
how we came all this way
The sleepless nights
and the tears you cried
it's never too late
to make it right
Oh yeah sorry!
I'm sorry I'm bad,
I'm sorry I'm blue,
I'm sorry about all things I said to you
And I know
I can't take it back
I love all your cares,
I love all you're sounds,
and baby the way you make
my world go round
And I just wanted to say:
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, baby
I'm sorry, baby
I'm sorry." ( Song by Buckcherry- Sorry)


After I end singing, I plays the last accords of these song.
>Only for you I start to learn how to play gitarr... from Kamenashi-senpai.<
I look to you and stand up.

I put the gitarr on the chair and walk toward you.
Than I stops in front of you and look in your eyes.

"Sorry Chi for all my thinking and my words. I know you would never cheat on me, but after I saw you and Daiki became so close and your beautiful lips so red...My brain knock out. The song say all what I feel and want to say to you. I beg you, pleace forgive me."

"..."
_______________________________________________________________

Find your end ^^

Sorry- seems to be the hardest word

We live our life.
We have fun and we love.
We are happy and sad.
We cry and say goodbye.
We win and we lose.
And sometims we had to say sorry.

Some days ago as all seemed to be great.

I had fun with my lovely band. We was joking in the free times between the shows and shoots. Hikaru joked so much with Daiki. Yuya, Yabu and Ryotaru discuss about eating, while Inoo and Kei were flirting so much, that I didn't knew was it a good grade of romance or not. And I? I was with my heart. I was hugging him and gave him some soft kisses and smiled to my best friend.
So all was fine, but yet there was nothing fine anymore!

My heart is in pain.
My lover starts to hate me and the other of the band looks not friendly to me or ignore me. But they're all on the side of my heart and helped him instead of listing to me.
Only Yuya looks to me with sad eyes.
It seems to me, that his look will ask: >"How are you?"< and >"Whey did you do this to him?"<
I know that Yuya dosen't like it when I and my heart were in a fight.
I know that he looked to me like an older brother, but I can't say something.
I can't explain why I did this.
I'm really sorry about this.
I don't know why this had happen so easily.
Why I take this way?
The last train is riding an I had no chance to go back, or have I?
But now I will fight.
I love him so much and I had to explain what isn't to explain.

Would he forgive me my mistake?
My thinking about the things that have happened recently...
My reaction of this...

At the moment I don't know the answer of my questions.
I know nothing about him.
But I know it was the biggest shit that I did in my life.
So I have to say sorry to him.
But I can't.
It would be not enough .
Not enough for all I did.

Fall in love -it's not so easy

"...It's not easy to fall in love, it's not easy to fall in love..." Was heard from the radio, before Yuya turned it off.
He would not longer hear to the music, because he would not start to think about anything.
But it was to late.
He thought about it.
It's not easy to fall in love, yes that was true, but for him it was more like it was not easy love.

Again he started with the old question: 'What did I do wrong? Why I fall in love with people, which aren't ever in love with me?'
Yeah, this was his big problem.
When ever he fell in love with someone, the other had feelings for him, but these weren't the feelings which Yuya want. And sometimes after this, his crush fell in love with a other.

The first times that something like this was happened, it was really hard to handle for him.
He knew this person more than 5 years before he fell in love this him.
The person of his heart, was his best friend.
Takaki was a long time in a dispute about should he told him about that or not.
In the end he told him about his feelings and that he loved him.
His best friend told him, that he had feelings for him too, but he doesn't know if it love.
He said that he needed some time to make clear if it love or not.
So he wait for the answer and hope that he had feelings too.
But it was never came to this moment.
Two weeks later he had a meeting with his friend.
They talk a lot and the other started to talking about his love to a other man.
At this moment Yuya knew he would not have a single chance anymore.
He was very sad...

Some times later he fell in love with Chinen.
He loved him so much and wanted say it to him, but he could not.
Because of this was happened to him, he wasn't able to said: I love you.
But he wanted that Chinen knew about how he felt about the little gigant.
So he told Yuri how important he was toward him and that he would have a place in his heart.
But it seemed, that Chinen not understood him as well.
That he doesn't knew the meaning of Yuyas words.
So it came to the scariest day in Yuyas life.
Chinen jumped happily to him and told him, that he was so much in love with Yamada and that they started a partnership.

His heart broke again, but he doesn't wanted to lose his faith to find his true love.

This was the reason, because the started to thought that fell in love and be loved in return is not so easy.

But the last month showed him that not all love situations had to end like this.
One month ago, he fell in love with the man, which was on this side, when ever he was sad.
He was thinking it would end like the other situations before, so he would not fight for the love of these man.
But than he started to thought and Yuya tried hard do not made the same mistakes like the other times.
He met him often and one day he said to him that he was fallen for him. He wanted an answer and wouldn't wait for this.
And he win the heart from the other.

Arms wrapped his hips and his body moved closer to the body behind him. He felt a breeze on his ear and heared the angel-voice. "What are you you thinking about?"
A smile showed on his face and he looked to the boy behind him.
"I think about the song 'It's not easy to fall in love'. It makes me think about it how happy I'm to have you on my side Kota."

Hier ist ein ganz neues Bild von mir.
Ist im Kunstunterricht entstanden.
^^

Da ich jetzt so toll das Bett hüten darf, hab ich Zeit genug es mal hochzuladen!!!

Jaa ne!!

This is my first homemade picture from Akanishi Jin.
It is the product of my artistic outpourings at my Pyschologie Education.
I think it is not bad.
And I like it very much.
^^

Ich schreib gerade mit meinen Pi an einen total tollen RPG!!!
Die Story ist zwar ein wenig irre, aber es ist total lustig das ganze.

Also bei "One moment in time" (welches in Japan spielt) geht es darum:

Storyline:
Zwei Mädchen (Mika & Yoko) ziehen los um in einem Entertainment als Mädchen für alles zu Arbeiten.
Was sie nicht wissen, es handelt sich dabei um Johnnys Entertainment.
Jedenfalls treffen sie im Fahrstuhl auf Jin und Kame, aber denken, das dies nur zwei Typen sind die genau wie sie aus sehen.
In vollem Tatendrang erklären sie Kame neben bei noch, das seinen "Scheiß-Pose" echt lustig ist und sie das ganz lustig fänden, wenn einer der anderen Member ihm irgendwann man einen Plastighaufen unter den ihm positionieren würden. Nach dem sich Kame darüber aufgeregt hat und wütend davon ist, treffen die zwei auf Mister Johnny.
Dieser hält sie erst für die neuen Produzenten und gibt ihnen dann den Vertrag als Sänger, Tänzer usw.
Yoko, bemerkt das zwar, aber sagt nicht und beide unterschreiben diesen Vertrag und sind nun Mitglieder einer neuen Band von Johnnys.

Einige Tage später treffen sich Mika und Yoko mit einen Kumpel,welcher ihr neuer Manager ist. Dieser macht ihnen einen Spezialkaffee.

Ein halbes Jahr ungefähr später erwachen zwei gutaussehende junge asiatische Männer in einem Krankenhaus und können sich an nichts aus ihrer Vergangenheit erinnern. Nach dem sie ihre Namesbändchen gelesen haben wissen sie, das sie Katoyama Kazuki und Masanori Ayoka heißen!!

Wenig später taucht ein Mann namens Hiro auf und erklärt ihnen, dass sie Mitglieder einer Band names "Heart Yoka" sind und sie vor einigen Monaten einen schweren Unfall hatten. Dieser Hiro würde die zwei ja schon gerne gleich mit nehmen, muss aber noch etwas mehr als eine Woche warten bevor er die zwei Jungen ins JE mitnehmen kann.
Dort treffen die Zwei auf Mister Johnny und ihre beiden Band-Member Tomohisa Yamashit und Nakamaru Yuichi. Kato und Ayo gehen nach den Infos von hiro, davon aus, das sie sich kennen müssten. Durch einen Versprecher von Maru, erfahren sie aber, das Hiro gelogen hat. Da so wie so keiner Hiro leiden kann, erzählt ihnen Maru alles was er weiß über die Band. Nachdem sie diese Dingegeklärt haben, tauchen Jin und Kame auf um Pi abzuholen. Dabei treffen sie auch auf Ayo und Kato. Ayo verliebt sich sofort "Hals-über-Kopf" in Kame. Als Hiro unverhofft vorbei schaut, gerät er sehr mit Kato zusammen der einen Ausraster erleidet und ihn ziehmlich zusammen staucht.

Einige Zeit Später sind Kato und Ayo recht gut mit Kat-Tun und Pi befreundet. Naja nicht alle. Jin und Kato zoffen sich bei jeder Gelegeneheit!
Als es wieder ein mal so ist, fordert Jin Kato zu einen Tanzbattle auf, in welchen die Beiden sich ziehmlich anheizen und irgendwie davor sind eine größere Dummheit zu begehen, bevor Kato die Notbremse zieht.
Ayo hat statt dessen so seine kleinen Problemchen mit Kame, welche ihm aber zu einem Essen mit diesen führen, be welchen er Kame in Grund und Boden knutscht.
Zudem Flattert die Nachricht herein, das "Heart Yoka" der Spezial-Gast bei den super Extra Weihnachstkonzert von Kat-Tun ist.
Nachdem Pi und Kato anfangs nicht so begeistert davon waren, angagieren sie sich nun damit!

So in etwa sieht Ayo aus:



Und so in etwas sieht Kato aus: